What a roller coaster last 3 weeks has been. A bitter sweet moment. A roller coaster of self doubt, low confidence, both mentally and psychologically. As you all probably know, I DNF UTMB. I tried my best, but my best was not good enough on that week, on that day. After running 71 miles for 27+ hours and climbing 22,000+ total elevation, I didn’t make the cut off time. The course is magnificent, absolutely beautiful, but there lies the treacherous, painful path hidden in that beauty. Lots of runner got trapped in that beauty, including me :-). Not sure where to start, but when things go wrong, everything happens at the same time. It compiles. It just like a flood that you can’t stop.
So what went wrong:
First and foremost, TRAINING. I had absolutely no consistent training. I had been bothered by nagging injury for past 3 months and I could hardly run without discomfort in my right leg. When your focus is on yourself and not in the course, it’s really really hard to complete the race, doesn’t matter if it’s UTMB or any other race. I was reviewing my Garmin connect data (months) before my 2023 Grindstone 100 miles, and it was almost completely filled with training logs, but barely any before 2024 UTMB 🙁
The time zone absolutely killed me. I hardly had any consistent sleep. I was walking like Zombie towards 68 miles. I had never been hallucinated, but I started seeing grass 2 feet tall and I was waving my trekking pole to make sure I won’t get tripped 🙂
My logistic strategy and time analysis was not good enough. I made so many rookie mistakes that contributed to this DNF.
And finally, out of all, running / downhill about 8,000+ feet 2 days before the race was not the best idea. It absolutely killed my Quads. I wanted to test if my legs can hold. In a hindsight, I should have done it during the race 🙂 But the view was phenomenal 🙂
What went right:
Self confidence and determination. I was not lacking it. When I saw 70 miles in my watch, I thought I can finish it. I gave 110% even though I was 60% to 70% running ready.
Beside my family was there for support. They are an absolute pillar in my running success. Without them there is no running.
So what’s next:
This is the hardest part. All your 2 years of hard work, relentless training and mental preparation… Now I have to start from the scratch. I need to get enough stones to get into the qualification for next year 2025 UTMB lottery. Good news! I am already working in this process.
After 3 weeks of UTMB DNF, I ran Grindstone 100K on Saturday September 21, 2024. I knew I was mentally strong, but not sure about physically strong. I still have issue with my leg. But the fear of failure, fear of DNF, I just kept pushing forward. For this race, I truly used the data and analysis to gain insights to complete this race. I knew beforehand, where I can save time by running faster, and use that for harder / difficult climbs. I knew the average mile per hour I have to cover, what average pace I had to maintain etc.
The name ‘Grindstone’ was given for a reason. The course was absolutely grinding. Nothing but ups and downs technical trails. I never realized East Coast USA has such kind of painful course. I felt it was harder than Grindstone 100 miles I ran last year. May be I was well trained last year (in Nepal) and the cut off time in 100K is shorter, so I was constantly running against the time. After climbing about 12,000+ feet and covering 65+ miles, I finished the race in about 17 hours 40 mins (last 3 miles I took it easy as I knew I will make it on time). The constant fear of DNF kept pushing me forward. I was so scared, I kept climbing more than 3 miles, without stopping once. Not sure where I got those energy from. The slopes were heartbreakingly steep and rocky. I was so relieved to finish the race to erase my memory of DNF and self doubt.
Again… I want to iterate… THERE IS NOT RUN WITHOUT SUPPORT OF MY FAMILY and friends.
Thank you to my running brother @Govinda Awale. I know we couldn’t share the trail together, but seeing you there was awesome and YES Congratulations on finishing Grindstone 100 Miles.
Thank you to my sister, Maya, brother-in-law, Sanu K, nephews, Sanir and Ranish, Pat who flew to Chamonix, France to cheer me up.
Special ‘THANKS’ to CrossFitEnforce coaches and family.
And I can’t thank enough to my kids Rayna, Aatish and wife, Anju. Love U all.
